one two three fourrrrnication!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
