SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
