Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
