Welp...herpes.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
