Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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