He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
