She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
