can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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