Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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