Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
