i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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