Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
