Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Screwed.edu
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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