I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
