Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
