shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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