i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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