I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
