Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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