if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she pinky promised me she was 18
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
