I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
