Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
