I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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