People in love make me want to vomit
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
please come you make the beer taste better
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
