Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
