He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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