My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
