ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
