I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
