we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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