we have pet lesbian snakes
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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