you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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