I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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