My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
