You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
