see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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