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• (205): View more from Alabama

  what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant

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• (424): View more from California

  I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  He played with my vagina like it was a turntable

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• (214): View more from Texas

  And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS

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• (956): View more from Texas

  He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"

  (404): View more from Georgia

  That is so sad.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.

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• (951): View more from California

  i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment

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• (850): View more from Florida

  If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.

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