We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
