doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
These tits shall not be calmed
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
