It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
