so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
