i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
