Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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