what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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