Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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