PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Houston, we have a blender
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
