I accidentally burped into my bong.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
