You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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