he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
