Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I would ride that face into the sunset
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
