she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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