If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
